Taller and Alone
by xXyumpancakesXx
Summary: Tallest Purple has grown and is declared the only Tallest of Irk, while Red gets exiled and sent down to Earth. With Zim. No romance, just friendship.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I don't own Invader Zim, anyone who thinks I do is an idiot. xP Please enjoy and all that stuff.**

* * *

><p>Purple relaxed in his chair and stuffed his mouth with a handfull of curly fries. Red sat next to him, sipping his soda. They were both looking out the window at the void of space.<p>

"Have we reached Foodcortia yet? I want to try their new Flozzo rings!" Purple exclaimed, licking his lips with his serpent-like tongue and completely forgetting about his curly fries in his hands.

Red raised an imaginary eyebrow. "No, don't you remember? We had to cancel that trip so we could have our scheduled doctor's checkup." He reminded and sucked the last bit of his soda.

Purple groaned, "We get those every fifth year! Can't we just reschedule or something?"

Red set his soda ontop of a Table-headed Service Drone and shooed him away. "I know you're scared of doctors," he grinned, "but we have to." Red reached his arm across to Purple's lap, grabbed a few curly fries, and stuffed them in his mouth.

"Hey! Those were mine! And I'm _not_ afraid of doctors!" The purple-eyed leader protested and shielded the last of his food with his hand. Ok, so he had a bad experience with a doctor when he was a smeet and now doctors made him a little uneasy, not that he'd ever admit that in a million years.

Red ignored his protests and reached his arm over again to grab some more of Purple's food. Purple, desprately tried keeping it as far away from Red as his arm length would go. Red grunted and reached over, pulling his whole body over the chair.

The techincians around them just looked at them with an imaginary eyebrow raised in seeing their leaders in such odd behavior, but they were used to it by now and continued to work in silence.

Red used one final jerk of his arm and grabbed the box of curly fries, causing both Irkens falling over Purple's chair in the process and landing on the floor with a loud thud. The precious curly fries flew into the air and landed right on top of a middle-height technician's head.

"Look what you did now! Those were _my_ curly fries!" Purple scolded, pushing his co-ruler and the fallen chairs off his body.

The crimson-eyed leader lifted himself off the ground and stood up. "I was hungry!" He protested, dusting himself off and checking his arms of any scratches. If he found any he would blame it directly on one of the guards and say they weren't protecting their leader.

"You should of gotten some yourself then," Purple grumbled and stood up as well.

Red looked around through space and spotted Irk. They were almost home. "How about we get some special shocolax flingers while we're at home?" He grinned.

Purple's eyes lit up. "I thought shocolax was found extinct!" Everyone knew that shocolax was a pure delicacy for Irkens. However, it was only available for one Irken month every year, and today was not that month.

"We're the Tallest, we'll get some."

They both grinned at eachother in a sort of evil smirk. They both knew what the other was thinking on how they would get the shocolax.

* * *

><p>Purple tapped his two claws nervously on his knee as he anxously waited for his co-ruler to walk out of the doctor's office alive. He was currently in the waiting room just outside the door to the office.<p>

Finally after what seemed like decades, the door swung open and Red and a female doctor walked out.

"Are you ok, Red? Are you sick?" Purple asked, jumping to his feet. He wasn't afraid that the doctor had found something wrong with him during the checkup, but had done something wrong herself.

He never did trust doctors.

"Tallest Red is in perfect health, I can assure you. Now if you'll follow me, we can start _your_ checkup." She gave him a warm smile and motioned for him to come inside.

The purple-eyed Tallest bit his lip but followed.

"I am Doctor Krie. Please stand on the scale." She motioned for her patient to step onto the scale and he did. She wrote down the weight and motioned for him to sit. He did. Dr. Krie then took out her gloves and examined his antennae, careful to not miss any imperfections that could effect his sense of hear or smell. When she was done she opened up his PAK and began examining it, after all, the PAK was what was keeping him alive, and if something was wrong with his PAK, who knew what would happen?

All this time Purple was silently wishing this would all be over with. He never liked doctors and wasn't going to start any time soon. He wanted this all to be over with so he could go back to snacking and bossing shorter Irkens around with his Tallest companion.

Dr. Krie smiled when she found nothing wrong and continued with the rest of the checkup, checking his heart, ocular implants, and reflexes.

"Now, I just have to do one more thing," She said and held out a small measuring device, "I just need to measure how tall you are."

"But I'm finished with all my growing. Why are you measuring me if it was impossible for me to grow anyways?" He asked.

"We just want to make sure you don't have any diseases. Surely you must know that if you are Irken and you _shrink_, you have a very fatal disease?"

"Uh, of course I knew that! Oh, alright, go ahead." Purple couldn't admit that he didn't know something, and just allowed her to do whatever she needed in order to get this over with.

Dr. Krie smiled warmly and measured him. Purple had to turn off his hoverbelt so he could stand on the ground, and he had to stand straight and still so the doctor could measure him to his fullest height.

After a few minutes, the plum-eyed ruler became impatient. "How long does it take to measure my height anyways?" He asked, irritated.

The doctor stepped off the stool that she was using to measure him, and put the measuring device away. "Forgive me, my Tallest," she bowed. Her voice sounded different this time, as if there was a hesitance in it. "Please sit down, I will only be a minute," she said before rushing out of the room. Purple raised what would be an eyebrow and sat down. He wished this wouldn't take so long. How long could it possibly take to find out you were your exact height since the last time you were measured anyways?

It seemed like hours before Dr. Krie came back in. "My Tallest," she bowed, "I have important news I must share with you," she was very hesitant this time.

"Well what is it?" He demanded. He wanted to get this over with already and get some of that shocolax him and Red were going to get after this was over.

"...It seems you have grown one fifth of a centimeter." She said, showing him his height status.

Purple raised an imaginary eyebrow. A fifth of a centimeter? Such small growth? That was worth nothing! Well, maybe to a very short Irken, but he was already the Tallest, so what did it matter to him? "Yea, so?" He asked.

"My Tallest, you are now taller than Tallest Red."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Just to let everyone know, this story is not copied. In no way, shape, or form. I thought of this while trying to fall asleep one night. Oh and I still don't own Invader Zim. I wish I did though. Actually, I wish I owned a whole TV studio just so I could put Invader Zim back on air!**

* * *

><p>"Let me see him!" The crimson-eyed leader shouted furiously. Two guards held him by the arms tightly so he couldn't move. They were taking him to someplace he didn't know of, for no one would tell him anything. "Why won't you let me see him? This is an <em>order<em>!" He bucked his head violently but the guards did nothing. After him and Purple had gotten their checkups, they were taken directly to Judgementia for reasons Red didn't know of. No one was telling him anything and no one was following his orders. They were acting as if he just committed a crime and was getting the 'silent treatment' from the cops.

The guards finally stopped in front of a large door.

"We are ready to begin," a medium-height Irken with magenta eyes said, and opened the door to allow the guards to presume walking. The guards walked into a large arena type area Red knew as where trials were held.

He saw the Control Brains in their usual place, their many eyes glowing brightly of all the Irkens' brains they contained within their system.

The guards took Red to the center of the room in front of the control brains. Purple came in from the opposite side and stood next to him, his amethyst eyes avoiding contact with his deep scarlet ones.

Red stared at his co-leader. He was going to say something but found a lost of words. He sensed something was wrong.

"Tallest Purple," the Control Brain to the right began, "it seems that you are now taller than your co-Tallest."

Purple stared at the floor.

Red looked from the Control Brains, to his violet-eyed friend, and back to the Control Brains in surprise.

"What?"

The Control Brain in the middle continued, "Therefore, by the laws of the Irken race, Tallest Purple will continue his reign and Irken Red shall be deactivated."

Both pairs of eyes widened and yelled in unison, "What?"

The one to the right replied, "Almighty Tallest Purple, this Irken is a danger to the empire. He may try to assassinate you at any given turn to receive his reign again."

"This is Red we're talking about! He would never kill me for the throne!" Purple argued.

Red watched them argue in silence. All he had heard hadn't fully sunk into his PAK yet.

"It is for your safety," the one on the left replied calmly. Several robotic wires swooped down from the ceiling and connected to the ex-tallest's back. Red yelped as the force made him lunge forward a bit.

"Hey!" Red tried to protest, but he knew better than to argue with the _Control Brains_ of all things, and quickly shut up.

"Stop! I will have a say in this! Have you not forgotten who I am?" Purple stood bold. He wasn't usually the bold one but he had to do something. He had known this Irken since they were two minutes old in the Smeet Hatchery. The had never been apart since then!

The Control Brains paused for a moment, looking at each of them skeptically. The wires retracted from Red's PAK before motioning the purple-eyed Tallest forward to speak in private.

Red watched as Purple silently came forward. They began to talk in whispers. No matter how much he focused his antennae, he couldn't hear what they were saying. From the looks of things, they were having a very intense arguement. Finally, Purple nodded his head and hovered over to him.

"What did they say?" Red asked.

"Well, you aren't being deactivated," Purple replied, giving him a small smile.

Red raised an imaginary eyebrow, "Really?"

Purple's smile faded and he suddenly found interest in the floor, "Yea, but that's not all..."

Red sighed audibly, showing his annoyance, "Come on, Pur, lay it on me."

"They don't want you near me. They won't let you be my advisor so you can still be in the Massive with me because they think-"

Red interrupted, "Yea, yea, because I might kill you."

Purple nodded and continued, "Basically, they're pretending you're a criminal before you've even done anything wrong. They want to lock you away so they know for sure I won't be harmed."

Red groaned, "Oh, well this is just great." Sarcasm dripped from his mouth.

"But don't worry! We made an agreement so you can have your free will and not be dead!" Purple smiled, trying to make a joke to lighten the moment.

Red was not amused.

"Ok, what?" He asked carefully.

Purple's smile vanished and he began fidgetting with his four fingers. "You're being banished," Purple paused and continued, "on Earth, with Zim."

_"What?"_ Red rubbed his temples. Just thinking about Zim made him get headaches. Headaches that even his PAK couldn't settle. "I think I'd rather be deactivated," he sighed.

"Sorry, I tried" Purple replied and Red just let out a small groan. Suddenly the violet-eyed Irken's antennae perked up and he became panicky. "Red, I don't know how to run an empire!" He practically shrieked.

Red grabbed the Tallest's shoulders and held him in place. "Ok, Purple, calm down! Don't start hyperventilating!" he soothed. Purple nodded and took deep breaths. He never was good in panicky situations. He never could understand how Red could be so calm. "You've been running an empire for who knows how long already! You're fine!"

"But never by myself! Usually I just let you do all the work!"

Red took a moment to glare at his friend, but relaxed his face, "You'll be fine, ok?"

"We've never been apart! What do I do? All through training when I didn't know what to do, you did! And you know how to run this empire better than me, I won't be able to do it without you!"

"Purple, would you listen to me for once? You'll be fine. I'll be fine- I'll be crazy, but I'll be fine. Got it?"

Purple nodded.

A guard walked up to Purple. "My Tallest, time to get back to the Massive," he said.

Red sighed and bowed to his leader, "Well, good luck, my Tallest." He smiled wearily.

Purple forced his friend up from his kneeling position and smiled as well, "Yea, you too. See ya." Purple waved and followed the guard out the doors.

"See ya, Pur," Red called after the doors were closed.

An Irken walked up to him, "Exile Red, your ship to Earth is ready for flight."

Red nodded in understandment and followed the shorter Irken to the ship.

* * *

><p>"Where is that hungitumm...?" Zim asked himself as he rummaged through his toolbox. He was currently working on a device that would cause the humans' plants to wither and die. "Ah ha!" He exclaimed once he felt the weapon, but when he pulled it out to see, he found it wasn't his tool after all, but a mushy, green lump of some sort. "Agh! What is that?" He shrieked, releasing the strange item and allowing it to fall to the ground with a splat. Gir suddenly popped out from under an autopsy table and shrieked his high-pitch shriek of delight.<p>

"My taco!" He giggled, picking up the moldy thing and munching it happily.

"Oh-" Zim gagged, covering his mouth with his hand. "Gir, don't leave your filthy Earth food in my weaponry box!" he growled.

"I lost it," Gir simply replied, looking up at his master with innocence. His cyan eyes staring up at his master with a dopey smile on his face.

Zim relaxed his face from the glare he was previously giving him. How could it be that he could watch a whole species suffer of the death of their planet, but he couldn't resist giving in to his not-so-very-helpful servant? He sighed and rolled his eyes. "Just don't do it again," he warned.

Gir nodded and wandered off.

Zim was about to continue on working on his device when he was interrupted.

**THERE IS AN IRKEN SHIP COMING INTO ORBIT.** The house computer beeped.

Zim's antennae perked up. "An Irken ship?" he asked (half to himself and half to his computer). Zim quickly ran into the elevator and allowed it to raise him to the surface. He opened his front door and peered outside. He felt a gust of wind in his face before a cloaking device was deactivated and a large ship came into view, landing just outside his lawn. He watched as Tallest Red stepped off the ship and it flew away. Once the ship was gone and out of sight, Zim opened the door wider and ran up to his leader. "My Tallest!" he bowed and exclaimed, "what an honor!"

Red dismissed the bow with a twirl of his wrist. "You can cut it out, I'm not your leader anymore," he said.

Zim rose an imaginary eyebrow and cocked his head. "Not my leader? Then who is?" he asked then suddenly gasped, "the Irken empire has no leader?"

"No, Zim. Tallest Purple is your leader." He replied, bluntly.

Zim seemed to ponder on this.

Red sighed, "Do you have any snacks? I've kinda had a long day."

"Of course, my Tallest!" Zim saluted, "right this way!" He motioned inside his base.

Red followed him inside. "I told you, I'm not your leader anymore, so stop calling me 'your Tallest,'" he scolded. He looked around Zim's base and observed the alien decorating around him.

"What do I call you then?" Zim asked as he grabbed his Irken snacks from inside the kitchen.

"Red."

Zim handed him his snacks, "Here you are, _Red_." The word felt unfamiliar on his tongue. He had called him 'my Tallest' so long, it didn't feel right to call him Red. It was like calling Gir, Arnold! It just wasn't his natural order.

Red took the snacks and opened them up. He sat down on Zim's couch and began eating.

Zim watched him in wonder before finally speaking, "Why are you not the Tallest any longer?"

Red stuffed a nacho in his mouth. "Zim, who becomes the Tallest?" He asked.

"Whoever is taller than all the others!" Zim replied, smugly. He liked knowing stuff.

"And why were me and Purple both assigned as the Tallest?" He asked again, stuffing yet another nacho in his mouth.

"You both were the exact same height, right down to the millimeter!" Zim answered, beaming with pride of knowing something about his Tallest. Er... ex-Tallest...

Red set down the snacks. He suddenly didn't feel like snacking... "Well not anymore, Zim. Purple's taller than me by a fifth of a centimeter. He's the only leader now."

"Then why are you here? I can see why you would want to see someone as amazing as me, but why?"

"I was banished here, just like you were."

"You are mistaken. I am here on the secret mission you gave me, remember?" Zim corrected, or at least thought he was correcting.

"No, you were-" Red began rubbing his temples, "you know what, nevermind."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Read and review even though this story would be way better if someone else wrote it. xD Psssst... *Whispers* I still don't own Invader Zim.**

* * *

><p>It had been two Earth days since Red landed on Earth. He was currently sitting on the couch. He no longer wore his armor or robes, but simple rubber pants, similar to Zim's only a dark shade of red instead of black, and a long-sleeve light red shirt. A pile of snacks sat next to him, but none were touched. Every once in awhile he would attempt to eat some, but for some reason he didn't feel like snacking. In fact, he hadn't since he arrived on this planet. Zim was out at school and wouldn't be back for another four Earth hours. It was pretty boring.<p>

Gir walked inside from the front door, holding a mud-covered, pink, Earth animal. Gir was also covered in the mud. He walked up to Red with a dopey smile on his face with his pink tongue sticking out. "You look lonely! Wanna play with me and Pig?" he asked.

Red eyed the little android suspiciously with his deep crimson eyes, "No."

"Aw, but we're going to have a teaparty!" He suddenly looked from the tall Irken, to his muddy friend, "right, Pig?" The pig squeeled in response. Probably wanting to be let down. "See! We gonna have fun!"

"I said, _no_," the scarlet-eyed Irken repeated harshly, "now, leave me alone." He pushed the robot away.

"Okie dokie then!" Gir shrieked loudly before running off with Pig.

Red gripped at his antennae. That robot screeched like a banshee. He regretted ever making the the little defective robot. When the robot was gone, Red grabbed the remote of the TV and began flipping through channels. It was amazing how humans were entertained so easily. You could probably bounce a ball of yarn in their face and they'd go nuts for it.

But Red was bored so he figured, why not? It wasn't like he had any big, important things to do for an empire anymore.

After another hour, Red turned the TV off. It was stupd. He was previously watching something called 'Spongebob.' Were humans really this stupid? It was incredulous! He sighed and turned to the empty cushion next to him, "So, Pur, what do you wanna do?" He paused. "Oh, that's right. You're not here! Why? Because you grew one stupid fifths of a centimeter!" He spat angrily to himself and chucked a cushion off the couch. He flopped down so he was now laying on the couch.

His mind began to wander. He hadn't tried to think about how he was no longer the Tallest, that he was now banished with the shortest, most annoying Irken alive, or the fact he wasn't going to see the Irken he had spent his whole life with ever again. He was almost starting to miss Purple. This was the longest they'd been without eachother. They did everything together and were always together, side by side since they met after all. In the military acadamy they always pulled pranks on the shorter Irkens together, always laughed at their height together, and always lazed around, eating snacks when the authorities weren't looking together. On Earth they would be called best friends, but on Irk you didn't have friendships. So what did that mean? Red shook his head. It didn't matter. But now he was without his buddy, and frankly, it was lonely without him. They always had the best of times together. Especially once they both became Tallest and could do anything they ever wanted. That was a fun time.

And now they weren't even allowed to talk to eachother ever again.

This was going to be a long rest of his life...

He wasn't a Tallest anymore, just a taller, you could say. A lesser authority. And because of that, he was alone.

* * *

><p>"Sir, what do you want me to do about the Endangered Amorrsa Establishment? They've called several times now, begging that you help form a habitat for the Amorrsas!" a technician explained to his Tallest after he ran in the room.<p>

Purple looked up from his already large pile of work and bit his lip. _'What would Red do? What would Red do?'_ he repeated in his head over and over. He tried to think of how his ex-partner would handle this situation. _'He would say no, right?'_ Purple looked up at the medium-height Irken from his thinking. "No habitat," he answered.

The technician looked nervous, "But sir! The Amorrsas help us in supplying-"

"I don't care! Just do it!" Purple interrupted. He was very stressed and was tired of listening to someone speak to him.

The technician quickly nodded and hurried away.

Purple rubbed his violet eyes. He didn't know how to handle all this by himself! He hadn't even eaten his favorite snacks since Red had left! He found himself always bored and nothing was able to entertain him. Not even the sight of a Service Drone cowering in fear of being thrown out the airlock!

The technicians were beginning to worry.

Purple closed his eyes and sat down. He felt weary. He had so much work to do today and was already pretty stessed. Not just because of the work, but the fact that Red wasn't here anymore as well. He felt like he just lost someone important to him. But that wasn't possible, Irkens didn't care for fellow Irkens. They looked at an Irken as another soldier or a pathetic loser, not as a companion to enjoy. They didn't have best friends, for they only cared for themselves. All Irkens were self-centered, thats just what made them Irken.

...Or was that just all in their minds?

Was it possible that all Irkens were self-centered simply because that was the way they grew up and not because their PAKs wouldn't allow them to have such feelings? As smeets they were raised with a cold, unfeeling, robot arm to take care of them. They had no parental units to care for them, and was always taught to trust no one but yourself, incase your fellow Irken turned out to be your enemy.

Purple didn't know. All he knew was that things just weren't the same without Red.

Purple was now taller than his co-Tallest, and now he was alone.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Just for the record, I have this whole story finished already. Why haven't I posted it all? Because every day I'm constantly editing this thing. I'm _trying_ to make it a good story, but somehow I still feel its not good enough to be posted on here. I'm still working on the ending... I fear its a bad ending. But I'm working on it. I promise. I just don't want to let anyone who likes this story down.**

**Please review after you read. Isn't that how it works? xP P.S. I find it painfully obvious that I don't own this story as this is crud compared to Jhonen's (arguably) beautiful work. Enjoy and all that good stuff.**

* * *

><p>"Is there <em>anything<em> to do on this pitiful dirt-ball of a planet?" Red whined as he layed down on the couch. For the days he had been there, he was on the main ground just watching tv and being bored out of his mind. He hadn't stepped outside since he was here, nor had he gone down to Zim's labs, for the elevators were too small for him, however the computer was quickly trying to fix that, and was building a larger elevator that would be ready shortly.

"Sadly, no, my Tallest. Zim grabbed out his disguise from his PAK and attached on the fake wig and contacts. He had to leave for skool in a few minutes.

Red would of reminded him to not call him 'my Tallest' for the millionth time now, but he figured it was pointless if it wasn't going through to the little Irken's head. "Well there has to be something! I can't just sit on this stinky couch for the rest of my life! I'm already going insane as it is with that pointless 'TV' thing and that **insane** robot that keeps bringing in animals everyday!" He yelled.

"I know!" Zim exclaimed, his eyes lighting up as an idea formed in his head. "You can come to skool with me! We can defeat the Dib-beast together and watch him grovel in pain!" Zim soon found himself erupting in a joyous, evil laughter at the thought of Dib on the floor, begging for mercy from the Irken's superity.

"Stop doing that, you're creeping me out," Red said then added once Zim calmed himself, "listen, I don't know..." Should he? What if he got caught and was put on display? He never was a good Elite back before he was Tallest, however, Zim was an even worst Invader than he was, and no one seemed to notice his abnormal, green skin, or his obvious lack of ears and nose. Maybe it would be safe...?

"I assure you, the humans are quite dumb. They won't suspect a thing! I'll just have to find you a brilliant disguise like mine!"

"Oh, joy," Red sighed, sarcasm evident in his voice.

Zim didn't seem to catch it, "Yes, yes, how fun it shall be!" He suddenly looked up at the ceiling, "Computer! Prepare a disguise for the Tallest!"

**UHH... HE'S NOT THE TALLEST...** The computer informed.

Red rolled his eyes. Did he really have to be reminded? _Again?_

"Silence!" Zim shouted, "obey your master!"

**PREPARING.** The computer announced with annoyance. It scanned the very tall Irken and prepared his disguise. Suddenly a robotic arm shot down from the ceiling and handed Red a small, silver ring with the Irken symbol on it in a maroon color.

"What's this?" Red asked, examining the ring.

**YOUR HOLOGRAPHIC DISGUISE, DUH.**

Red slipped it on his finger and the disguise activated. His natural, green skin turned into a light peach, his eyes were no longer a solid, red color, but white with green irises, ontop of his head where his antennae usually were, black hair with red highlights replaced, and his PAK was disguised as just a regular backpack. He also now had ears and a nose. The only thing that stayed was his clothing, which looked pretty normal enough since he no longer had his armor or robes. The only thing the hologram didn't provide was extra fingers, but he could easily lie and say they were all chopped off.

"Almost as amazing as mine!" Zim commented, proudly.

Red looked down at the little Invader and raised an imaginary eyebrow, "Right..."

Zim grabbed Red's hand and dragged him out the door like a little kid wanting to show his parent something. "This way, my Tallest!" Zim tugged.

"Stop calling me that!" Red yelled as the shorter Irken continued to pull him towards his skool.

* * *

><p>Red stared at the teacher in boredom at his desk. His chin rested on his hand, with his elbow propped on the desk. He was listening to the teacher talk about some kind of human war that happened a century ago. It turned out these humans invaded themselves! '<em>How inferior<em>,' Red thought. He was not in the same class as Zim, however. Apparently when Zim introduced him to his teacher, the teacher said he was 'too old' to be in the elementary class and had to move to the highschool classes.

Red looked up at the clock above the board and sighed as he stared at two sticks called 'hands' which were each ontop of a different number. He wished he knew what time it was, unfortuently he couldn't read Earthen time. It was so complex! All he knew so far about their time was there were twenty four hours, and the clock went around twice in one day. How was someone to know what time it was if it read '1:00' twice in one day? He thought it was very confusing.

He looked around him at all the mindless Earth-smells in the room known as 'teenagers.' Half of them were fast asleep with drool hanging from their mouth, and the other half were spaced out and chewing on their pencils. '_How pathetic_,' He thought. When he was in military training he was alert and attentive, but these students weren't paying attention at all!

No wonder Zim always said they would be an easy planet to conquer.

The bell suddenly rang and teens hurried out of the room towards their next classes. Red followed them figuring thats what humans did next in this place.

* * *

><p>"How was class with the <em>filthy stink pigs<em>?" Zim asked as he sat down at the cafeteria table with his tray of Earth food.

Red ignored the question and stared at Zim's food with disgust, "You actually eat that stuff?" He asked bewildered.

Zim gave a disgusted look. "Of course not! This food is poison for my superior squeedily-spooch! I just pretend so the stinky Earth creatures don't suspect anything of me," he replied smugly.

"Oh," The Irken disguised as a teen replied. He blew a lock of hair away from his face. Hair was so annoying. "When does this place end? I'm sick of learning the history of Earth that only happened a century ago. I mean come on, why don't they ever talk about the _real_ past, like three thousand years ago? One hundred years is nothing! I'm _over_ a hundred years old!" He complained.

"Humans have a much shorter life span, my Tallest," Zim replied.

"And stop calling me that!" Red snapped, "I told you to call me 'Red' from now on. It should be registered into your PAK by now." All Irkens had a downloaded entry in their PAKs so they knew who their Tallest was once the system changed. They knew who to respect from then on, and to not act like the old Tallest was still in charge. But then Red was reminded that Zim was an exile, and that exiles didn't have leaders anymore.

"My apologies, my Tal- eh, er... _Red_... I shall try harder."

* * *

><p>"Look, Gaz!" Dib exclaimed as his sister sat down with her tray of food at their usual table, "Zim's talking to someone! He never talks to <em>anyone<em>. Usually he just sits at his table alone, but now there's _that_ kid... a highschooler... Who is he? And why is Zim talking to him?" Dib began ranting on to himself again.

Gaz grinded her teeth. She was trying to concentrate on her game and it was awefully hard with Dib talking so much. Luckily, she passed the level and her anger settled down before she had a chance to punch her brother.

"I mean," Dib continued, "he never talks to _anyone_, and if he does, it's all just screams, never _actual civilized_ talking! And why is a teen talking to him anyways? Highschoolers don't talk to elementary kids."

"Look, Dib, I don't care. If you're so nosey, why don't you find out for yourself?" Gaz spat.

That gave Dib an idea.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Just to warn you guys, this is going to be a short story, I won't tell you how many chapters long, but yea. It's short. I'm sorry. Would you look at that, I still don't own Invader Zim, and why I keep telling you guys this every chapter I will never know. Enjoy.**

**P.S. I know Red says 'please' in here, but I do have proof that Irkens can have manners. In the episode 'The Frycook what came from all that Space' Zim causes a taxi to crash and he calls out, "Sorry!" So yea. xP**

* * *

><p>Purple sat in his seat, an untouched Irken soda next to him. He was watching the Organic Sweep clear out another planet out the Massive's window. Usually him and Red would laugh at the sight of another planet falling victim to the Irken empire, but today he was not laughing. Why laugh when there was no one to laugh <em>with<em>?

He turned away from the sight of destruction and fixed his eyes upon a very short Irken hunched over with a flat table on his head.

"You!" Purple pointed to him.

The Irken cowered in fear, afraid his leader might throw him out the airlock just for some fun. He usually did that to the much shorter Irkens when he was in a bad mood, and lately he was always in a bad mood.

Purple sighed, he couldn't believe he was doing this... "What's your name?"

"Table-headed Service Drone Arc, Sir!" Arc quickly straightened his back and saluted to his leader.

"Come here, have a curly fry," The very tall Irken motioned for him to come over and handed out a curly fry.

Arc nervously approached and took the curly fry. He nibbled on it and smiled a bit. He really couldn't believe his Tallest was acting so _nice_ to a short Irken like himself. Tall Irkens did not talk to shorter Irkens unless they were commanding them to do something or just wanted to make fun of their height. "Thank you, my Tallest."

"Come, sit," Purple padded the seat next to him.

The drone sat.

"Hey, you know what would be funny?" Purple asked after a few moments of awkward silence. He began to laugh at what he was thinking about, "If one of those species down there survived!" Purple burst out laughing.

The service drone cocked his head to the side. He didn't get what was so funny.

Purple noticed and put on a sour face, "Laugh! That's an order."

The drone, afraid, began laughing. Purple frowned and pushed his untouched food away from him. He set his arms on the table and laid his head in them. '_So much for trying to replace Red_,' he thought. It just wasn't the same without him...

* * *

><p>"And then, Dib lunged at me with a fork, see?" Zim said, motioning with his hands a stabbing gesture.<p>

"Uh huh," Red replied, not really listening. Both Irkens were walking home from another day of that horrible skool. It had been a few weeks since Red started and he came to a conclusion... _He hated it!_ He still had no idea who this 'Dib' was, but he had seen him once before. Who could forget such a large head like his?

"And I dodged out of the way and grabbed my **doom** weapon and began shooting him like this-" Zim proceeded to make a gesture of shooting a laser gun with his hands.

"Uh huh."

"And as he ran away, I shot his odd hair!" Zim cackled.

"That's nice, Zim," Red sighed. Why was Zim telling him all this stuff anyways?

Zim suddenly darkened his voice and gave a look of pure loathing, "Oh, but one day... _one day_, he'll be right in my grasp..." He clenched his fist slowly as if pretending to crush something in his hand. Perhaps pretending to snap his enemy's neck.

Red could barely hear a low growl that escaped the short Irken's throat. It was creepy... "Zim, I just want to get back to your base in silence, _please_." He was feeling another headache made by Zim again and rubbed his temples.

They reached Zim's base and walked in. The first thing they noticed was the big pile of chicken nuggets in the middle of the floor.

"Gir! What have you done?" Zim shouted and looked around for his robot.

Gir popped out from under the large pile and smiled widely, "I was makin' a chicken castle!" He exclaimed.

Zim shuddered. "Clean this up, it's disturbing and horrifying!" He ordered.

Gir saluted, his eyes turning a deep red which shocked Red that the little thing could even go into duty mode, and hurried out of the room, his eyes back to blue and laughing insanely.

* * *

><p>"So you're saying these humans choose a leader based on skills? Not height or anything?" The cherry-eyed Irken asked, bewildered. He was sitting down in a metal chair down in Zim's labs, watching Zim try to create a device that would kill all of Earth's plants or something like that.<p>

"Yes, however, some other places of the world have kings and queens, who are chosen by royal blood." Zim said, turning a bolt with an Irken tool that looked similar to a wrench.

"Wait, so some humans have special blood? Is it made of gold or something?"

Zim shrugged and began to ponder on this. Someday he would have to go to one of these countries and run tests on their king or queen to find out.

The room became silent as Zim continued his work and Red just stared. It was unusually quiet, especially that Gir wasn't around. He was at a party.

"Isn't there anything to do? The Massive is more fun than this and all we do there is stay in one ship all day and night!" Red broke the silence once again.

"I have to finish my ray or I'll never destroy the Earth! It's my duty after all," Zim smiled, showing he was being diligent in his work as an invader.

"Zim... you-" He cut himself off with a sigh. The look on the defective's face was making him flinch. For a moment he realized something. Zim was the shortest Irken alive, and he was also the least respected. For one because he ruined the whole Irken society since he was two minutes old in his life, but also because he was short. So unusually short mind you. Red was in a sort of similiar position, he was now shorter than Purple, and now no one respected _him_. It was as if he had never been Tallest. He suddenly shook his head in anger for thinking such thoughts. This _was_ Zim he was talking about, after all. "Zim, you are not an invader! Get that into your thick skull already!" He shouted.

Zim simply uncovered a flower from a glass case and hit the flower with the ray.

The flower turned into meat.

"Hm, still needs work," Zim replied then turned around to face Red. "What did you say?"

The crimson-eyed Irken gave a look of pure disbelief, but just shook his head. "You know what... I don't know why I bothered," he sighed.

"Come with me, my Tall- uh, Red, and we shall bring doom upon the humans!" Zim grinned, suddenly putting down the ray and bringing out a microphone from his PAK. "Gir, where are you?"

"I'm dancing with a nice lady! She's petting me! It feels good..." Gir purred.

Zim quirked a hairless eyebrow but soon relaxed it. "Gir, me and Red are going to bring doom upon Dib, don't stay too long."

"Okay, master!" The transmission ended with that.

Zim grabbed his contacts and wig and handed Red his ring. Both Irkens put on their disguises and headed out.

"Uhh, exactly what are we doing?" Red asked as both disguised Irkens began walking to Dib's house.

"We are going to the Dib's house to pull a 'prank'. Many humans do this! It is enjoyable and brings torture to the victim!" Zim cackled.

"Your enemy? Why don't you just kill him already?"

"What is the fun in that? I want to savor his death." A sly grin crept on the little invader's face.

"Of course you do," Red felt himself massaging his temples again. He hoped this wasn't going to be a waste of his time...


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I don't own Invader Zim, yada yada yada. Congrats to me for adding a bit of Jhonen goodness in this chap. Fact of the day: Thomas Jefferson invented the coat hanger. Hm.**

* * *

><p>"Okay, Gaz, tonight I am going to Zim's base and find out what his next evil plan is! He hasn't been causing anything evil to the other classmates in days and I just know he's up to something, and I bet than teen is involved! I bet they're..."<p>

Gaz growled as she tried draining her brother's rants out of her head and focus more on her game.

Dib put on his gear and grabbed a squirt gun. It was the latest water gun in stores and blasted out water at powerful strengths. Perfect on an alien.

"Do your stupid stalking, as if I care, but I'm hungry and if you don't get me any food, you won't have any eyes to even stalk with," Gaz warned calmly.

Dib nodded and quickly took off his gear. He could spy on Zim in an hour. "How about pancakes for dinner?"

Gaz quirked an eyebrow. Pancakes did sound good at that moment... "Alright, Dib, but you better not burn them like last time." With that she turned around and headed upstairs to continue her game before dinner was ready.

Dib hurried to the kitchen and grabbed the ingredients he needed for the pancakes and began to stir them together until the batter was ready. He suddenly thought he heard voices and looked out the window thinking someone was outside, but nothing was there. He shrugged it off and poored some batter into the skillet.

He made a few pancakes and poured more batter in the skillet when he heard a noise, this time coming from inside the house. He spun around in paranoia and held his spatula in front of him as a weapon.

Nobody was there.

Wait...

Dib noticed a stuffed bear on the kitchen table suddenly. It wasn't there before... He picked it up and examined it. It looked... strange. It was just a regular brown teddy bear with a bowtie, but something was odd about it. There was a small card attached which he picked up and read.

_I will destroy you._

In Dib's paranioa, he tossed the stuffed bear away from him, which the bear then turned into a mechanical robot on little spider legs. It began to advance after Dib, who yelled and ran away, into the livingroom. The bear followed afterwards and tried to attack Dib with a mechanical arm. Dib used his spatula to defend himself with.

Both human and robot continued the battle, both knocking everything in the livingroom and making such a loud racket. Eventually the robot bear knocked the spatula out of Dib's hand and was just about to stab him with the mechanical arm when Gaz grabbed it and tore it's head off which deactivated it.

"Thanks Gaz! You really saved me from that..." Dib trailed off when he saw the angry look on his sister's face.

So much for spying on Zim tonight...

* * *

><p>Laughter filled the room as Zim and Red entered the base.<p>

"Did you see his face?" Red asked, holding onto his abdomen to keep hold of his laughing.

Zim nodded, cries of laughter kept him from saying anything. He was on the verge of falling over and his squeedily-spooch was becoming in great pain.

Red held his hand like a fist and waved it in front of him, "Look at me, I'm a large-headed human and I'm going to save mankind with my spatula!"

They both suddenly fell to the floor, laughing and holding onto their squeedily-spooches.

Gir walked in with his doggy suit on and covered with sticky, strawberry jam. He tilted his head and wondered what was so funny.

The two Irkens suddenly noticed the robot and in their great mood, began laughing all over again.

Gir backed out of the room slowly.

Eventually the laughter died down and both Irkens lay on the floor, staring at the ceiling.

Red let out a content sigh, a smile still plastered on his face. He hadn't laughed like that since, well, when he was laughing _at _Zim.

Maybe the defect wasn't so bad after all...

* * *

><p>"My Tallest, Invader Udex requests more supplies and tools. Should we give it to him?" A medium-height technician known as Knor asked, approaching Purple.<p>

Purple was busy staring out into the depths of space and didn't hear him.

"My Tallest?" Knor spoke again.

Purple suddenly turned his head, "Hm? Uh, oh yes! Do whatever is needed to be done!" He exclaimed, not wanting to sound like a fool. He didn't want to seem like he wasn't paying attention, even though he wasn't.

Knor nodded and walked away. He went back to the computer where other technicians sat. One of them, Req, leaned to the side and whispered to Knor, "Is it just me, or is Tallest Purple a little out of it lately?"

"I've noticed it, too," Knor replied in the same hushed tone, "he hasn't been the same in a long time."

"I haven't even seen him with any snacks in a long while."

Knor sadly shook his head, "I haven't even seen him with donuts. He _always_ eats donuts when the cook bakes them." He replied in a more hushed whisper so he was sure Purple wouldn't hear.

"He hasn't been the same since Red was banished," Req commented, "and if I dare say, he hasn't been a very good leader since he left."

Knox looked at him with wide eyes. No Irken would ever even _think_ to say such things about his Tallest! Not unless they had a death wish.

Both Technicians went back to work and after a few minutes Req spoke again, "I miss the both together."

The conversation ended there.

Unbeknownst to them both, Purple had been listening. He narrowed his eyes and thought about throwing them both out the airlock, but something made him stop. Maybe because he knew all they said were true.

He couldn't keep this up.

He couldn't continue running a race like this.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I own nothing but my imagination.**

* * *

><p>"Yes! I have done it! Finally!" Zim proudly held his latest device in the air.<p>

Red looked up from examining an unusually happy child known as 'Nick' in a glass tube and raised an imaginary eyebrow in wonder. "What is it?"

"My doom device I've been working on since before you've arrived!"

"Well, what does it do?"

Zim took out a bright red rose, fully blossomed, and shot it with the ray. The rose's bright, green leaves immediately curled into a stale brown, it's pedals all wilted and turned dull, and the whole flower died in an instant.

Zim gave a haughty laugh of success and disposed the rose.

Red just stared with bewilderment. Did Zim really just do that? He looked up from the place where the flower had suffered into death and looked at Zim.

"Amazing, yes?" Zim asked, smiling at his success.

"I guess," he answered, trying to sound unamused, but really he was at a lost for words.

"Just think of what this amazing device can do! I'll be able to destroy whole forests into deserts in a matter of minutes! Truly this is my most amazing plan yet!" Zim beamed with pride.

Red just stared and thought about what Zim said. Then he imagined if Zim destroyed the Earth, he would be coming back to Irk, where he would continue wrecking everything on _thier_ planet. "Zim, you should really know the truth," he began sternly.

Zim's antennae raised, showing he was alert and listening.

"Purple and I banished you here, Zim. You haven't been an invader since you completely ruined the first Operation Impending Doom. If you destroy Earth, you can't come back home. You'll just be living on a giant rock and eventually die of no oxygen left." He tried to explain it to him slowly.

"Zim doesn't know what you are talking about. Zim is an invader! See?" He suddenly posed with his hands on his hips and his chin held high in the air.

Red just rolled his eyes, "That's just it, you _aren't_! We lied to you!" He was getting discouraged. "You just kept bugging us! We wanted to get rid of you, you're like a parasite!" He began to raise his voice, but tried calming it and continued, "look, we just sent you here so none of our plans for universe conquest would be ruined. AGAIN."

Zim just stared at him, expressionless.

"Aren't you going to say something?" Red asked after a few minutes of silence. Zim being quiet kind of freaked him out. It was one thing when Zim was bragging about himself, but it was another thing when he was actually quiet.

Zim still didn't move. Didn't even blink.

Red waved his hand in front of the shorter Irken's face, in hope of sending him out of his trance.

Suddenly Gir ran in, sobbing, "My ice cream is stolen! I needs more!"

Zim blinked a few times then turned to Gir. "Eh? You probably just ate all the wretched cow desert," he replied.

"But I needs more! I do!" Gir cried, "or else the cows will get me!"

"Oh, alright, we can go to the filthy store and get you more of your 'ice cream', and when we get back I must continue my evil plan to destroy the humans!" Zim cackled and grabbed his disguise.

"Does Master's evil plan involve my tacos?" Gir asked as he put his green doggy disguise on.

"No, Gir, even better than your tacos."

Gir gasped in amazement. "Even better than my tacos?"

The blood-red eyed Irken just stared at him blankly. _'Did he even hear a word I said?'_ He thought. He shook his head slowly and put on his ring which activated his disguise. _'I guess Zim will never take the truth...'_

* * *

><p>Red stared at the disguised android with disgust. They were all currently in an ice cream parlor watching Gir scarf down different ice creams with delight. Right now he had the flavors Rocky Road and Mint Chocolate Chip.<p>

Neither of the disguised Irkens had any ice cream because:

A) It burned their skin.

B) It was disgusting.

C) They lost any appetite when they saw Gir's lippy smacky movement...

"So this is ice cream?" Red asked after many minutes of nothing but watching Gir.

"Yes, this must truly be the worst of the human foods other than meat," Zim replied, also glaring at Gir's filthy eating habits.

Red raised an eyebrow and dared to ask, "Why?"

"In this 'ice cream' is an ingredient called 'milk'," Zim explained, "and milk is a cow-beast's bodily fluid."

Red gave a look of pure horror and disgust, while also scooting away from drops of ice cream on the table that missed Gir's mouth. "And they enjoy eating this stuff?" He felt he was going to be sick.

Zim nodded, "It is quite true, Red. Such horrible, filthy beings they are!" Zim stuck his tongue out in disgust.

Red had to admit, he was actually getting along with Zim.

The parlor's door dinged signaling another customer came in and it was none other than Dib himself. He immediately caught sight of Zim and walked over in his bruised state.

"Zim." Venom dripped out of the boy's voice.

"Hello, _Dib_," Zim smirked.

"I know you're the one who sent that stupid robot teddy bear to kill me!"

"Who said I didn't?" Zim's smirk grew.

Dib glared but his eyes trailed off to the very tall teen sitting across the booth. "Who's this, Zim? An alien friend of yours?" Zim's smirk disappeared and reappeared on Dib's face.

"Foolish stink-child! We are both human!"

Dib stepped closer to Red and examined his features. He noticed the pale skin, black hair with some red highlights, ears, and a nose. He did look human... But then again so did Tak. "I've seen you around school, what's your name?"

Red, who was freaked out by Dib's staring, didn't know what to say. "Uh... I'm..."

"He's Steve! Yep, Steve. Mhmm." Zim nodded, quite happy with the name he chose.

Red raised an imaginary eyebrow at the name. "Right... I'm Steve. Hi."

"I'm not falling for this," Dib snapped at Zim. "You never talk to _anyone_ and suddenly _he_ becomes you're friend? I don't think so. Besides, whats with the two fingers? And," He turned his head back to Red, "you sure are tall. _Inhumanly_ tall. I'd say you're, what, over seven feet? Almost eight?"

Zim growled and stood on his booth seat. "That's it, fool-boy! We're leaving! Come on, Gir!" Zim grabbed Gir's leash and gave a great yank on it which made Gir fall backwards and lose his ice cream he was holding.

"My ice cream!"

Red followed behind Zim and soon they were out of sight from the ice cream parlor.

* * *

><p>Zim opened the door of his base and everyone walked inside. Zim was fuming. His hands were balled into fists by his sides and he was grumbling to himself. The only words Red caught were 'Dib-worm', 'angry', 'guts', and 'slice'.<p>

"I can see why you hate him," Red commented, deactiving his holographic disguise.

Zim turned around to face Red, his antennae perked up. He seemed to be thinking about something. Then he sudden gasped loudly, "my Tallest!"

Red groaned, "I'm not the-"

"Not you!" Zim interrupted, rushing to the elevator, "Almighty Tallest Purple!"

Red, who was following Zim to the elevator, stopped in his tracks. "Purple?"

Zim nodded and got in. Red hesitated for a moment but followed in as well and the elevater decended.

The elevator doors opened once they reached the right floor and both stepped off.

"I haven't contacted my Tallest since you got here!" Zim said while frantically rushing to his computer and typing in commands.

Red just stood where he was and watched the shorter Irken.

The screen turned on, but instead of showing the Tallest's face, it showed a busy signal.

"What?" Zim asked. He began typing in more commands on his keypad until finally the screen viewed an Irken's face. But it wasn't the face of Tallest Purple.

"I'm very sorry, but the Tallest cannot review any reports at this time," A green-eyed technician said.

"What? Why?" Zim asked, irritated. He _needed_ to speak to the Tallest. It had been weeks since he last reported to him and he couldn't loose the Tallest's respect!

Red suddenly stepped into view, suddenly interrested in what was happening. He knew the protocal of a Tallest, and it was very important not to miss invaders' reports. "What's going on?" He demanded.

The technician looked hesitant. He knew Purple could be in danger by Red, and wasn't sure if he should respond, however, he was still shorter than Red and you weren't allowed to disobey higher ranks. "Tallest Purple is missing," he gulped.

Red's eyes widened. "How can someone just go missing on the Massive?" He practically yelled. _'Leave it to Purple to screw up,'_ Red thought angrily.

"It seems he may of stolen a ship and flown away," The technician explained.

"He's run away?"

"The Tallest is gone?" Zim suddenly gasped.

"We're all doomed!" An Irken in the background of the screen yelled. The green-eyed technician turned around and the transmission was cut.

"We have to do something!" Red ordered to Zim.

"I agree! We should both go back to Irk and get measured to see who becomes the new Tallest. I personally think it'll be me," Zim beamed with pride.

Red gave him an 'are you kidding me?' look but relaxed his face. "No, Zim, we have to find Purple! We have to get in a ship and find him!"

**SIR?** The computer interrupted.

Zim looked up at the ceiling. "What is it now, can't you see we're busy?"

**SIR, THERE IS ANOTHER IRKEN SHIP COMING INTO ORBIT.** It replied.

"What?" They both asked in unison. They both hurried to the elevator.

Once they were outside of the base, they saw an Irken ship landing in Zim's lawn, while crushing his fence and a gnome in the process. Once landed, the door opened and a violet-eyed, rather tall, Irken stepped out.

"Hey, Red!"


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Seriously has anyone ever gotten sued on here for copyright?**

* * *

><p>"What do you think you're doing, Purple? You can't just run away from your empire!" Red yelled as he ran outside to his old co-ruler. He couldn't say he wasn't relieved to see him, it felt so long since he last saw him though it was only a few weeks.<p>

"I can't do it, Red! There's so much pressure and you aren't there! What am I supposed to do with the whole empire breathing down my neck? Huh? Huh?" Purple didn't need the lecture. He knew what he did was wrong but he couldn't stand to be there any longer. He came here so he could get his companion back and go back to normal. He didn't care if he had to sneak him back into the Massive if he had too, he would do it!

Red sighed, "Do you realize that the whole Massive is panicking? You have to go back this instant." He crossed his arms and looked the equally-height Irken directly in the eye to show his word was final. Red was always good at giving direct orders and making them final. When he gave this look, all Irkens cowered in fear and obeyed directly.

"Not unless you come with me," Purple protested, crossing his arms as well.

However, Purple was different...

"You know I can't. If anyone even found out you were with me right now they'd have me deactivated in a heartbeat!"

"Then I'm staying here. I don't care if I'm stuck with..." He took a moment to glance away from the cherry-eyed Irken to look at Zim who was staring at him as if he just met a celebrity. "...him."

Red sighed, "Okay, so pretend I do come back with you to the Massive, what's going to happen then? You know I can't become leader again."

"I don't know, I didn't get that far..."

Red facepalmed so hard you could hear a 'smack' when his hand made contact with his face.

"My Tallest!" Zim exclaimed, bowing and suddenly butting into the conversation. "Why don't you force them? You are the leader who enforces all the rules after all!"

"Zim, you don't understand, the Control Brains make all the rules," Purple replied.

"Wait a minute," Red began, "maybe we could... Come inside and we'll discuss it." Red said and motioned inside Zim's base.

* * *

><p>"So, what you're saying, we try to change the system so the Tallest is not based by height?" Purple asked, bewildered. Both Irkens were currently sitting on the couch in Zim's living room and Red had just explained his thoughts.<p>

Red nodded, "Zim's told me this planet chooses rulers by the best leadership skills. They 'vote' for which human they like better. If every Tallest had leadership skills as best as us, the universe will truly be ours for the taking!"

"We can't just change the system! Height is _everything_!" Purple exclaimed.

"I don't like the idea either, but it's our only chance."

Purple took a moment to think about how this would work. "This might work actually..." Purple said quietly, suddenly liking the idea. "When the Control Brains hear about this, they can't say no!"

Red nodded.

They both wanted it to work but inside they had their doubts. Height was the most important thing on Irk, someone suggesting to change it was unheard of! No Irken wanted it to happen, the only reason these two did was it would give them a chance to be side-by-side again.

Purple turned his head toward Zim, suddenly feeling hungry. A feeling he hadn't felt for a very long time. "Zim, do you have any curly fries in this place?"

Zim nodded and saluted, "Yes, sir!"

"Hey, Zim, I'd like some, too," Red added, suddenly feeling hungry himself.

Zim rushed into his kitchen and grabbed out his Irken curly fries he kept in his cabinets and gave them to the both much taller Irkens. He then rushed away to prepare the flight to Judgementia.

Red and Purple proceded to open the bag of curly fries and stuff the contents into their mouths with pure delight.

"So, how's it been with him?" Purple pointed a claw to the elevator where the Irken had descended down. He suddenly felt his worries vanish with that first bite of food and relaxed on the couch.

"Not as bad as I thought," the crimson-eyed of the two replied honestly while stuffing a handful of curly fries in his mouth.

"I thought you would of pulled your antennae out by now," Purple laughed.

Red laughed along.

* * *

><p>"My Tallest, Red?" Zim asked hesitantly as he walked back into the room. He didn't want to interrupt their time together.<p>

Purple turned his head to look at Zim, "What, Zim?" He asked annoyed.

"The computer has put my Voot Cruiser and your ship together into one ship and is ready for flight," Zim replied and bowed.

"Ready already?" Purple asked, shocked that they would be leaving so soon. It had only been an hour and he was hoping to stay at least a few days...

"Why did you put the ships together, Zim?" Red asked afraid of the answer.

"To make room of course! We are all going back to Judgementia to fix this problem, yes?"

Red rubbed his temples. "What about your mission?"

"Oh, that can wait! The humans are only increasing their stupidity after all."

Red rolled his eyes. "Fine, you can come, but you are going **straight** back to Earth once this is all settled, got it?" He warned.

"What?" Purple practically shrieked. He did _not_ like the idea of having to share a ship with the most obnoxious Irken in all of history!

"Am I coming, too?" Gir asked eagerly.

"No, Gir, you get your own special mission. You must bug the Dib-human while I'm gone, okay?" Zim replied.

"Okay!" Gir shrieked with as much happiness as a little robot can have. "I'm gonna play horsey with big-headed boy!" Gir then activated his jetpacks and flew straight for Dib's house.

Zim chuckled, turned around, and began his march towards the ship. "What are we waiting for? Let's go!"

The violet and crimson-eyed Irkens trudged their way to the ship.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: If I disappoint you guys, don't go easy on me. I want to learn from mistakes, not on lies that people think will make me feel better.**

* * *

><p>"...And then we can go to Foodcourtia, and hang out on the Massive! It'll just be the three of us, a trio! And..." Zim had been talking like this for most of the ride to Judgementia. Red tried not to let it bother him, but sometimes he could just feel his claws wrap around the little defective's neck. Purple, on the other hand, felt like throwing himself out the airlock and saving the trouble.<p>

They were just thankful that Purple's ship was a newer model, and that it flew twice the speeds of Zim's pathetic ship, so the trek would only last about three months.

"Zim, shut up!" Red snapped at last. There was a hint of a whine in his voice, but how would you feel if you had to listen to the most annoying Irken in the universe for three months? It really strains you. "Right after we get this fixed, _we_," Red pointed to him and Purple, "are going back to the Massive and go back to normal, while _you_ are going straight back to Earth and do whatever it is that you do."

Zim wasn't paying attention, instead he was busy gazing at the magificence of one of the many planets conquered by the Irken Empire. "Look! We're here!" He shouted.

Red and Purple turned their heads to gaze at the unique orange and red planet.

"Oh, hey, we're here," Purple said nonchalantly.

The ship landed and all three Irkens stepped off.

"Let's go!" Zim exclaimed, about to run inside, but Red grabbed hold of his collar and pulled him back.

"No, Zim, you stay here with the Runner-Cruiser thing. Purple and I will handle this."

Zim grumbled, "But Zim wants to help!"

Purple shot a glare at him, "Obey your Tallest, you will stay here."

Zim resisted the urge to protest and bowed, "Yes, my Tallest."

Red followed Purple inside where the main Control Brains were held.

All three Control Brains looked up and the middle was first to speak, he held a very angry and powerful voice, "Exile Red, what are you doing here? You dare disobey your orders? And Tallest Purple, how dare you leave your ship! Do you realize the consequences of your actions?"

"I left because I had to find Red. It isn't right what happened! We've come to discuss a way for Red to continue his rein," Purple replied.

The Control brains looked at eachother, then back at the two Irkens.

"We have a right to punish you both for your actions, but we are curious. What is your proposition, Tallest Purple?"

Purple and Red then began to explain the human ways of choosing a leader. They explained how it could quite possibly change the Irken Empire for the greater good.

The Irken society did not like change, especially when it could just possibly ruin the Empire and make it completely collapse. However, the Control Brains could not ignore the facts and listened intently to what they had to say.

When Red and Purple were done explaining, the Control Brain to the left spoke, "We have listened and heard your proposition. We will discuss this overnight and tell you our decision. The guards will lead you and Exile Zim to your room."

"How did-"

"We are the Control Brains, Tallest Purple, we know everything."

* * *

><p>Red sighed in content as he relaxed his head against the couch. "Earth couches can never compare to comfyness as this."<p>

Purple took a bite of a donut in pure delight. He had one of the guards bring it to him.

"Hey, I want a donut!" Red suddenly whined once he noticed his fellow Irken had them.

"Too bad, get your own!" Purple stuck his snake-like tongue out at him before eating another donut right in his face.

Red showed the scariest glare he could muster, but Purple just ignored it. Finally, in one swift movement, he stole a donut right out of the Tallest's claws.

"Hey! That was mine!" Purple yelled.

Red just snickered and proceded to munch on his donut he stole.

Suddenly Purple tackled him down to the floor and they began wrestling for the rest of the donuts.

Zim walked into the room from doing who knows what, when he caught sight of the two taller Irkens wrestling and a bag of donuts lay next to them. His eyes lit up and grabbed the bag of donuts, completely forgetting about the Irkens wrestling on the floor, and munched on them.

Purple's antennae perked up upon hearing a familiar munching and froze in place. Red noticed this and froze as well, trying to find out what Purple was hearing. Purple turned his head and saw Zim had eaten up the rest of the donuts. They both glared at the much shorter Irken with anger.

Zim smiled nervously at their expressions and pushed the bag away from him, pretending he did nothing wrong. Crumbs, however, were evident on his face.

"Zim..." Purple began, standing up. He clenched his two-clawed fist and his left eye twitched.

_Nobody_ steals Purple's donuts.

Zim took out some nachos from inside his PAK and handed them to Purple. "Nacho?" He asked, smiling innocently.

Purple shrugged and took the nachos. He wasn't in the mood to bother with Zim. Zim was invincible anyways from past experience. Purple sat down on the couch and ate the nachos. Red took some of Purple's nachos from time to time, but Purple wasn't going to fight it. It wasn't as important as donuts.

Zim sat on the opposite side of the Tallest and Red and got comfy. "I wonder how Gir is doing," he tried thinking what Gir would be doing right now. Probably bothering a chipmunk.

"Maybe he's being tested on by the humans," Red mumbled and Purple let out a soft chuckle.

* * *

><p>"I need cookies!" Gir shrieked for the millionth time and hugged a robotic monkey that wore a fez and thrashed symbols together repeatedly until the batteries died.<p>

Dib groaned and pulled on his hair. "If I get you cookies _then_ will you let me do experiments on you?"

"Nope!" Gir said happily and ran out the room. Dib sighed. For the past three months Gir had been staying here and Zim was no where to be found. He wondered if Zim had left Earth for good and just left his robot to annoy him for the rest of eternity...

Two seconds later Gaz was yelling. _"Dib!_ Get Zim's stupid robot away from me or _else_."

Dib hurried into the living room where Gaz was. The purple-haired girl had her fists clentched, ready to punch the android in the face. Said android was playing _her_ game and losing every twenty seconds by a vampire piggie on fire.

Dib rushed over and picked up Gir, prying the game out of his metal hands and giving it back to his very scary sister. Gir giggled insanely as Dib held him under his arm, upside-down. "Don't mess with Gaz, okay? Anything, but Gaz," Dib pleaded, tiredly.

Gir nodded, not understanding any of it.

Dib sighed and walked into the kitchen. His eyes suddenly widened at seeing the refridgerator tipped over and on fire. Food was splattered all over the room, the floors, wall, even the ceiling. "I can't take this! Zim come back already!" Dib pounded his head on the table that was covered in soaked crackers. "How does he stand it?"

Gir smiled and patted the boy's back. He giggled, left Dib, and headed to the boy's room to tear up newly found footage of a swamp creature Dib saw in a pond outside of town.

Dib just continued to pound his head in the gooy crackers hoping this nightmare would end.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I don't own Jhonen Vasquez. His mother does. Enjoy. ^.^**

* * *

><p>Red and Purple stood in front of the Control Brains. Zim stood in a corner of a room where a guard was... well, guarding him, incase he got into trouble like he always does.<p>

"We have thought over your proposition," The Control Brain to the left began, "and we must decline."

"What? Why?" Both Red and Purple yelled at once.

"The shorter Irkens could never accomplish anything as a leader! It is the tall ones who can truly dominate the other species. You are suggesting we completely change the rank system! What would it look if a shorter Irken, the size of Exile Zim, tried to tower over a much taller Irken such as yourself? The taller would surely win even if he were a service drone!"

The Control Brain in the middle spoke in a much angered tone, "Besides, Exile Red, you have disobeyed us by seeing Tallest Purple and-"

"That's not his fault!" Purple interrupted, "It was mine! I was the one that went to Earth!"

"Silence!" He shouted then continued what he was saying to Red, "And not to mention you have brought that idiot here!" He pointed to Zim who was playing with some wires. He accidentally broke them in half which shut off a main computer. He nervously pretended nothing happened and stood in front of the damage. Red mumbled something under his breath about Zim and the Brain continued, "Therefore, we are deactivating you no matter what Tallest Purple says."

"Oh, come on! Not this again!" Purple whined.

Wires shot out from the ceiling and hooked themselves up to Red's PAK.

"Can I at least say something?" Red asked irritated.

The Control Brains looked at eachother but nodded and the wires shut down.

"If I've learned anything from being with Zim for two weeks straight of him talking non stop about himself, not to mention the three months on the way here, is that I actually had a somewhat good time with him. This is coming from a guy who would throw an Irken that size out the airlock for just smiling at me! I don't even like the fact of an Irken his size becoming a Tallest. I mean _seriously_. A Tallest? No way! But after seeing how Irkens treat me just because I'm shorter... Well I hate it. I despise them all! And now you are deactivating me because I'm short! Now I understand how hard a short Irken's life is. The point is, this whole society system is pathetic!"

"Ha! In your face!" Zim shouted, pointing a finger at the Control Brains and laughing.

The Control Brains ignored Zim's outburst and thought about Red's small speech.

"Exile Red, you are acting like a defective," the Control Brain to the right commented and continued, "however there is no bugs in your PAK. I shall not go along with your idea of changing the system, however, I do believe you deserve your rank as Tallest again. You have been a good leader to this society and if Purple left his snacks to find you, you should be worth some admiration. Maybe one day we will consider your proposition."

The wires retracted back up into the ceiling.

Zim stormed over, "When you _do_ change the system, then you better look out. I'll be the next Tallest in line." He smiled proudly in his small stature.

The Brains sighed heavily and turned to both Red and Purple, "Make sure he gets back to Earth."

Both Tallest nodded quickly, Purple and Zim headed back to the ship but Red stayed and bowed. "Thank you."

"Do not think we are letting you go so easily," the Control Brain in the middle began, "We will be watching you to see if a Tallest with such a small height can truly give orders."

Red sighed and nodded, "I understand." With that he turned and walked back to the ship.

"Well this trip has been great, but I've got to get back to Earth and crush those tiny Earthlings like the superior being I so am." Zim said as he got inside the Cruiser. Red and Purple stepped in as well. "Tomorrow I plan on killing them with explodey acorns of doom!" He cackled evily.

"Zim you aren't-" Purple began but Red nudged him.

"Just let it go."

* * *

><p>"You! What are you looking at?" Red asked a Service Drone as he leaned his back forward to get eye level with him while also towering over him. He once again wore his Tallest robes and armor.<p>

"N-nothing, sir!" The service drone cowarded, saluting. He knew he shouldn't of glared at Tallest Red when he gave an order. It's just... even after five months he couldn't get used to the fact of Red being Tallest when clearly he was not the Tallest Irken anymore. Why the Control Brains allowed him to become the leader again, he would never know. Perhaps it had something to do with Zim... he heard he messed up some major computer system while he was in Judgementia...

"Then get back to work! You were born to be a service drone, so do it!" Red ordered and hovered over to his co-ruler.

The small Irken hurried to obey his Tallest's order. _'You'd think he'd be nicer now after realizing he was given a chance to be something his height wouldn't allow,' _he thought bitterly.

Purple smiled smugly as Red sat in a chair across from him.

Red noticed his creepy smile and raised an imaginary eyebrow. "What's up with you?"

"Nothing..." Purple replied then held out two rectangles that looked similar to a candybar, "just this!"

Red opened his mouth and gawked at the rectangles. "Shocolax? How did you get it?"

"Nu uh! Not telling!" The violet-eyed Tallest handed his companion a bar of Shocolax, which he gladly took.

"Fine," Red grumbled, "don't tell." He unraveled the bar and took a bite. It was the sweetest snack he ever tasted. Not even donuts could compare a fraction of this taste.

A technician walked up and bowed to his leaders. "My Tallest, we are ready for the plummetting of Planet Reccmor, invaded by Invader Derb, to begin," he said.

"Alright!" Red grinned in excitement, "let it begin then!"

The techician bowed and signaled for everyone to begin.

Red and Purple kicked their feet on the table in front of them and relaxed their hands behind their heads.

"What should this planet become now that it's been dominated to the Irken Empire?" Purple asked as he gazed in awe of the laserbeams hitting the planet. He smiled at the species' screams and pleas for mercy. It was a sweet sound indeed.

"Hmm," Red tapped a claw to his chin in thought, "how about another weapon-making planet?"

"Perfect."

The two friends continued to watch the horror outside with pleasure, and just enjoying eachother's company. Ah, it felt good to be a Tallest.

Red wondered for a moment if he should start being nicer to the drones, they kinda deserved it after all... Ah well, he'd think about it later.

_The End_


End file.
